Monday, May 20, 2013

bittersweet weekend

happy monday dear readers!   what a powerful, profound weekend it was.  it felt like summer, and there were proms, and graduations!  so many grown ups appeared before my eyes that were babies i had thrown in the air - just yesterday.  how did that happen?  i alternated between feeling winsome, giddy, childlike and old and sentimental.  i even had a little regret for my past!  our dresses were no where near as cute in my day.  i wore an ugly dress and had an awful dud of a blind date for my prom!  he wouldn't even dance.  had a horrible time.  i was in awe how many young people went to the prom sans date.  wow!  wish i'd had the courage to do that!  it just wasn't done in my day, but i would've had a much better time going in a group of friends.  so glad the young ladies don't feel that ridiculous pressure any longer.

oops - i digress, this is not about my prom.  this is about the prom of some of my loved ones.  i was fortunate to attend two photo sessions this weekend!  what fun!  i love all these young people.  so much smarter than we were.  i have a feeling they will change the world for the better and not do the stupid shit we did.  oops there i go again - let's have some fun.

i was in awe how adorable every one looked.  from hair, to makeup, nails and dresses!   here is a pic of my niece's 'do.  believe it or not - that's all her own hair!  she's always had the most enviable thick, full head of hair.
the ink is new and was a tad shocking.  but hey, every one's got ink any more.  i'm one of the odd ones who doesn't.  she looked fabulous.  the theme of the prom was Cinderella, which is a coincidence because that's my brother's nickname for her.  she's a fabulous young woman, wise beyond her years.

image by my sister-in-law

her dress was gorgeous!  shimmery cobalt blue and purple with glitter and a hoop skirt!  indeed, she looked  like Cinderella.  and the fabulous nails!  i am in awe of the artistry.

her BFF also looked fabulous.  she wore a shimmery yellow.  and dig her nails!  fab.

image by my nephew's date

my nephew is a junior, attended the prom for the first time.  here is how he asked his date to the prom.  he asked her if she wanted an altoid mint, handed her the tin.  when she opened the tin, this mint was on top. so romantic!  just like his dad.  my brother and sister-in-law met at dunkin' donuts.  they've been married close to 25 years and to this day i think about them when i pass a dunkin' donuts.

my nephew's date is a lovely young lady.  she wore gold with pops of red.  i loved her dress, shoes, earrings, hair and nails!  she's fabulous!
shoe shot of my nephew's group of friends!  i love shoe shots!  and, yes, one of the young ladies wore cowboy boots.  she was the only one not struggling to walk on heels, lol.  a girl after my own heart!  my nephew went to the prom a 16 year old, and returned a 17 year old.  yesterday was his birthday.  i love you...
we've called him boo his whole life.  he's a fine young man.  i'm so proud of him.

there was also grief in my weekend, as you know, it was the anniversary of my other brother's son's passing (see post below). again i experienced the whole gamut of emotions.  seems to be my modus operandi lately.  i also had friends with kids who graduated from college this weekend.  i am so proud of one of my best friends. she overcame the hardship of single motherhood to put her kid through college.  it was a bittersweet day for her.

i hope i am not repeating myself, but i finally understand what Rilke meant.  in one of his poems he used this phrase:  "as painful as boys becoming men."  wow.  i get it.  i guess i'm an experiential learner.  i am now wrestling with my emotions toward another nephew.  he's a teenager.  and popular. just yesterday he was a baby who never left my side, and thought every thing i did and said was fabulous. he used to hide my shoes and pull on my leg when i wanted to leave.  i couldn't even go to the bathroom.

now he barely says hello.  all i can do is let him have space, remind him i love him - when i can - be careful not to embarrass him.  all i can do is hope i've done the right thing and that when he needs me he will return to me.  the love is almost unbearable, i look at him (and my brothers and other nephews and nieces), and get a lump in my throat.  i hope they know how much i love them.

amongst all this happiness, i also grieved the loss of my nephew Nick, who would have been graduating from college as well. i now realize there is something more painful than boys becoming men.  boys NOT becoming men. just a not-so-subtle reminder to never take your children for granted.  sorry for the preaching.  i am a sentimental mess today.  enjoy your day dear readers!  xo

note:  all images by peggy (except where noted).  no images may be reproduced or copied without the express permission of the editor of creative influences.

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